peer pressure
It has already begun. My son is feeling the pressure to fit in. And he is only six.
But what has surprised me the most is the peer pressure I’ve begun to feel from other mothers. Sometimes I feel like moms see me as over protective, controlling, not cool.
I don’t think kids need the latest technology. My kids aren’t going to have video games anytime soon- this is already killing my son. He can’t believe I won’t give in. I remind him that I’m the meanest mom in the world and that he’ll thank me someday. His buddies have video games - he can play at their house.
Right now it is video games. Later it will be cell phones, iPods, beer and sex. Everyone else has it (or does it). They will be social outcasts if they don’t. This reasoning just doesn’t fly with me. I think the pressure to fit in is even stronger for girls. For that reason I am thankful for my boys.
I have a few friends that agree with me - but I’m definitely in the minority. I thought I left peer pressure behind in high school-geesh.
A news article I recently read talked about a book called “Bringing up Geeks- how to protect you kid’s childhood in a grow-up-too-fast world”. I immediately ordered it from Amazon. I’ll let you know if it is any good.
I’ve always said I want my kids to be a little nerdy, just like me. I don’t want them to be so geeky that their adolescence is painful, but I also don’t want them to be ‘big man on campus’. A little geekiness keeps you grounded.
Any help out there would be appreciated.
Filed under Uncategorized |6 Responses to “peer pressure”
Leave a Reply
I’m anxious to hear what you think of the book.
What I do know, is that I want to raise my kids very differently than I was raised. I spent so much of my adolescence trying to be liked and popular that I never focused on my studies. My parents were not educated and therefore, education was not important. I still don’t know why the popular girls were popular.
Does a kid really need an iPod and video games to fit in?
Unfortunatley unless you only have two kids (close in age), that whole thing you were talking about yesterday happens. You get it for the older ones and the younger ones play. You get a cell phone for your 16 year old driver and your 13 year old thinks he needs one to (he doens’t get one in this case, but he sure uses it like he owns it!) My 3 and 4 year old are exposed to things from their teenage brothers that would have made me crazy when they were young. Life changes. It’s hard to keep balance in this ole world.
enjoying your writing,
Pam
Hi Jane. I sometimes feel like the only one trying to raise my kids the old fashioned way. From my experience, there are lots of us out there and it really helps to find them. An old friend and I once joked that the peer pressure actually starts in toddler-hood and it’s our fault! One day, we caught ourselves saying, “look how much chicken Johnny has eaten. Johnny loves his chicken! Don’t you want to try your chicken?”
Can’t wait to hear about the book!
I have somewhat the opposite problem. My oldest has NO concept of peer pressure, cool or uncool. In some ways, I think it’s fabulous. But there’s also a small part of me that doesn’t want him to be on the outs, the pariah, the big geek. It’s hard to balance keeping him sheltered from it all, but also keeping him from being “that” kid.
You couldn’t be more right Jane, but how do you handle it when it is close relatives that set the bad example? It seems that “every family is different, and we do things our way” has worked until now. I have found myself at a loss for words to explain why it is still “no” when grandma, auntie, and the cousins all do it differently with the kids (cellphones, clothes, tv in the bedroom)
Maybe this is why my mother moved away from S. Carolina when we were young???
I persnally feel balance and standing firm are key-my beans are almost 15,13 and almost 11 I see and feel the peer pressures daily right down to I have more webkinz than you do nanana boo boo type stuff-I mean come on a friggin webkinz…
anyways my beans do have video game consoles one has a laptop they all have cell phones(That is because we are soooo busy) BUT they all contributed in one way shape or form for those items either paying for half or all or working for them-some items like our wii is a family gift-anything that they have is not because billy down the street has one-I would like to think I have raised them better than that-at least I hope…
I have enjoyed your blog and I foundya on allmed
I would love to hear what you thought of the book…