emergency

I’ve always been jealous of boys.  Camping is so much easier for them simply because of their “equipment”.  I don’t know how many times I’ve peed on my shoes or on my pants.

This last summer my husband taught my youngest the thrill of outdoor peeing.  They were at a park and the restrooms were closed.  After much cajoling he peed on his first tree and has never looked back.

After I caught him “watering” our garden a couple times (hmmm….the tomatoes are especially plump this year), I told him that peeing outside was only for emergencies.

I was remembering back to the first couple weeks of school when I was teaching.  Every year we would have a couple 1st graders relieving themselves at recess.  They were use to peeing outside and had to be taught that the playground wasn’t one big toilet.

My child was not going to be one of those kids.  It is a neat trick, but should only be used in emergency situations.

This is how Luke handled this revelation.

Begging at the back door to be let outside (we don’t need a dog, we’ve got Luke!), the moment he gets outside he announces he has an emergency.  I state that it isn’t an emergency when the bathroom is only a couple steps away.  This just makes him mad and he throws a little tantrum (is that all you got kid?), insisting the whole time that “It’s an EMERGENCY!!”.

I drag him inside and make him pee in the real potty, because , I remind him, I am the meanest Mommy in the world.  This statement just makes him madder.

Luke and his evil mind have come up with a new solution to his need to pee in nature.  When I’m pushing him in the stroller and not a potty in sight, he will have an emergency.  The last emergency happened while we were walking through a beautiful mansion filled street.

Mama didn’t raise no trash - we don’t pee in other people’s yards.

Luckily there was a median full of trees running down the middle of the street.  I got one dirty look from an old lady, but we got away with it in the end.  Nothing like the call of nature while in nature.

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